Dream Deferred as Irrelevant

in the dream i am back in china
i am in the corridor
just outside my room
saying goodbye to some friends,
two women,
& i decide to go to the 10th floor.

i pass through floors of generational gap
assorted levels of tecno decor,
an electronic picture frame,
malfunctioning,

but for a second i glimpse
a snowy mountaintop pointing up
into the blue & there is a car bridge
aligned w/the rising sun
of the winter solstice.

So now I am back in my dear old LEXUS
heading out through gracefully rolling hills
although the mountaintop goal
has somehow receded out of range....

surely it never moved, yet
there remains that possibility.

I decide to walk instead,
abandoning the car
for the chance to absorb more aromas.


I find an old touring bicycle
& am pleased with it...
very pleased.

Such smooooooth synchronicity!

I become slightly disoriented (hah),
so i turn a corner, looking for a spot
of technicolor, grinning like an archaic Kore,
as a tall comedian tweaks my headlight
for the amusement of his stubby companion.

I shake the detritus off my hand into a wire
rubbish can & move along, pedaling, shifting
gears. I realize I am changing again,
changing--I cling to the side of the bike
with my legs & one arm
like a Comanche showman,
aiming my camera up through the handlebars
at a particularly appealing moon gate where
a young girl with a backpack smiles & waves.

Although I realize
I have left the car behind
i move out
into the streaming humanity,
merge w/the traffic
flowing back onto the bridge,
flowing
overhill
& I can see
my hotel
abides,

but i've gone ...much.... too...... far
to stop now.

Heartshadow

Watching a dead leaf float by...

what kind of thing is THAT to do?

Is it Spleen

or is it some

species of selfishness

that makes a person stop

&

watch the drift,

clicking away at a shutter,

clicking away at a keyboard,

clicking away to a new window,

deserving the world full of clicks,

part of it,

just as we are part

of that floating leaf,

perhaps,

never knowing

how far our shadow reaches?

Of 2 Minds

Today is a remembrance

of fine souls given up as sacrifice

to power

to greed

to "principle"

Even if you read between the lines

something needs to change

and soon

autobyoddysey

Wave in Progress--an autobyoddyssey



Antonio Carlos Jobim produced

what I have read described

as the emptiest music on earth.

It is the music of The Stepford Wives.

It is the music of the upscale grocery store,

the Bottega Veneta theme song.

The emptiest music.



At first it was fun.

Then it was escape.

Then it was opportunity.

Then it was titillation.

Then it was retribution.

Then it was a challenge.

Then it was an obsession.

Then I thought it was real.

Then I thought it was imagination.

Then I thought it was so cool.

Then I thought it was a miracle.

Then I thought it was a threat.

Then it seemed to be a duty.

Then it seemed a Divine Obsession.



Then it seemed to rule the earth.

Then the earth grew smaller.

Then the world grew even smaller.

Then my heart grew smaller.

Then I went crazy for a while.



Then I took a road trip.

Then my heart grew cold.

Then I came home to an impossible situation.

Then I realized Aroo! Aroo!

I re-visited the zoo.



Then I remembered my friends.

Then I felt better, much better.



Then I read the Book of Nature.

And I thought about it.

Then it occurred to me

to listen to some music.



Then I went electric.

Then I joined a Lost Tribe.

Then I felt ensnared again.

I wandered aimlessly

to counter purposes.

I found my mother

and she did not know my name.



I swam in a sea of delusions.

I was surrounded

by my own smoke and mist.

Murky images of the future

danced before me. . .



Shades of past music

patches of light

laughter, raucous or subtle,

bitter tears and broken glass



Then I noticed how rays of the sun

magnify through the bits



the infinite variety of sky

the waving grass on its way

how everything seen breathes

through the invisible water-crystal

how things unseen move through

the crystal that makes it happen

that saves life for the fire



and I thought



Psychics can never accurately



predict the future.



Of course not.



The future is ever-changing.



It changes even as you notice it.



True for everyone . . .

True for Everyone.





So, then, it follows that our only possession

is this control of the present moment.

That is the only thing we can own,

even though it often seems otherwise,

and it constantly moves, like a wave.